Since my daughter has gone back to school she has started kicking people and objects when she gets mad. The first time it happened she was grounded and let known that it is totally unacceptable. Then she did it again, so as a conciquence I took away all her favorite shoes. I told her if she did it again I would take away all her shoes. After every incident she crys and says how mad she is at herself.
This whole thing is a total shocker to me, and I have learned from it that other children do it to her. Which that right there is a hard lesson, because she gets in trouble for doing what she has learned from others, but she can't punish them for doing it to her.
So today she did it again. Do I go out thrifting and find the most horrible shoes ever and tell her that's all she has and take away the rest? Do I make her go barefoot for a day? Do I keep grounding her? How do I stop this?
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2 comments:
If it were me, I would gently reinforce the message that kicking is unacceptable; I suspect this might be one of those cases where your disappointment will mean more to her than a punishment. And I would work with her on developing other, more acceptable, tools with which to express her anger. Reinforce that it's okay to feel mad; but that she needs to learn to say, "I am very angry!" rather than kicking.
Thank you for your comment. We have been talking to her about other ways to express anger, and yes feeling mad is okay. We have also shown her how to step back from the situation and take a deep breath before acting out in anger. So far this all has worked, plus the losing of the fancy shoes.
She has even told me about a few times that she had to take a deep breath and it worked for her.
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